Current mood:

drained

A Bloody Battle...
That's what it was like. All night. Till 12 something. We fought. Back and forth.

This is like Kat and Mel all over again. Except this time, Mel wasn't there to save me...I was all alone in this battle.

I don't know how Mel did it when we fought like this and she wasn't on my side. I guess its because I understood her when she told me what I was really feeling why I was doing what I was doing. She was strong like that. She couldn't give a fuck how deep the truth it was she rooted. She did it without a second thought. And I'd always crumble under her. All those things she'd say killed me to the deep bone. Usually later as in a few days later, she'd apologize and say she didn't mean to say those things. Say that she never wanted to say those things. But she said them because...that I was so blind and stupid because I wouldn't stray away from Kat and go to her. And by the time I finally did. It was too late.

Cassie is playing Kat's role. The one who made me feel bad...and kept me coming back because I felt so bad. Kept believing she'd commit suicide. Except...Cassie's not threating that, just everything that has to do with me. She's already deleted me and blocked me on myspace. And I am enemy number one to her ex-boyfriend.

Kaity is playing Mel's role. She doesn't tell me harsh things like Mel did and make me feel stupid for my actions (even if they were), but she does make me think about why I stay around someone who keeps hurting me and mistreating me..just like Mel...just in a different way.

Right now I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I just want to stay away from everyone for a little while. But I doubt I'll do it. -sighs- Maybe I can just sit back and watch what happens.